The cultured teenager

the best of literature, film and music, shown through my rather short-sighted eyes

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The best and worst: Superhero Films

Considering that the last film I reviewed was The Amazing Spiderman and one of the next is going to be, FINALLY, The Dark Knight Rises I thought now would be a good time to countdown the best and worst of the superhero genre. There can sometimes be nothing better than a superhero, summer blockbuster, but it can equally be awful, often farcical and more cartoonish than the comics it was derived from. These are my personal opinions so please comment to moan at me and argue for the films you disagree with me on, I may have missed some films out which ought to be there because I have not yet watched them, and if I had seen it Spawn would probably be in the worst pile. Enjoy

WORST:

5.) Hulk: Ang Lee is by all means a very gifted film maker, but making a Hulk film was the wrong option. I doubt he ever could have made it work, as I don’t think his style is bombastic enough to make a great superhero movie; the Hulk that should have been created should have been more like Mark Ruffalo’s in Avengers Assemble, but instead reminded me of the Boris Karloff Frankenstein, just dumb and brutish, but weak rather than frightening. There were just far too many glowing frogs and nonsensical science for it to work as well, and this wasn’t exactly helped by Bana’s performance which was unbelievably wooden, and constantly felt like a man acting rather than Bruce Banner. Next time, don’t cast people because they have same surname.

4.) Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer: Hardly anyone liked the first one so why didn’t they just stop, or at least give it another ten years and then reboot the franchise. What annoyed me most of all was that the Silver Surfer is easily one of the best ‘villains’ in superhero land yet here there wasn’t anything cool or edgy about him, and at some points in the film he seemed almost obsolete to the numerous other, far more boring story lines such as the heroes relationships yada yada yada…

3.) Elektra: Again, sequels of crap films are never, just never, any good themselves. Personally I thought Jessica Garner’s performance as Elektra was the worst part of the rather dreadful Daredevil anyway, so to make a film solely based around her was nonsensical. The fight scenes are ludicrous and really badly done, looking so staged that all it achieves in doing is breaking up what little narrative it had.

2.) Batman and Robin: I like to start with the positives, so… Urmm… Alfred’s not bad. Done. Negatives, now don’t even get me started. George Clooney was poor at best, you were left not caring about Batman because he seemed just like a rich jerk, and was a huge step down from every other person who has played Batman and doesn’t deserve a comparison between the Michael Keaton and Christian Bale versions. Secondly, the villains, of which there are not only too many, Poison Ivy, Bane, Mr Freeze, just stick with one or two, but they are so cartoony and unrealistic that they remind me of the villains in an episode of Scooby Doo. Thurman and Schwarzenegger are both hysterically bad, though this isn’t aided by the cringe-worthy script, and its incredible number of ice puns, such as “cool off”, “revenge is a dish best served cold”, and my personal favourite, “lets kick some ice”.

1.) Catwoman: How could a film be worse than Batman and Robin? Well, at least B & R, was entertaining, it was extremely funny, though not at the intentional points. This was just boring, because the only interesting thing to do was criticize it. None of the characters, even the one possessed by some magical cats in a sewer, were in any way interesting, and that is the thing about superhero films, it has to be interesting and bombastic, these people have superpowers for f***s sake. It was so rubbish I am even finding writing about it mind numbing, so I give in, now on to some decent films.

BEST:

5.) Kick-Ass: A complete mockery of the superhero genre, but done with sprite and panache, the characters are funny yet, for the most part, believable, and those that aren’t believable, i.e. the knife throwing, pistol shooting, blaspheming eleven year old girl, are purely in it as a mockery of the genre which it itself fits into. Moretz is brilliant as Hit Girl and Nicolas Cage is equally good in one of his best roles, but not only is it a good supporting cast but Aaron Johnson not only gets our sympathy but also gets our support, in doing what no-one else is brave enough, or indeed stupid enough to have done before.

4.) X-men First Class: After the rather disappointing Last Stand (I have forgotten about Origins: Wolverine for a reason), Matthew Vaughn, who had already made a name for himself in the genre with the film above, now rejuvenated the franchise with a clever and ballsy effort. The direction is great, the battle scenes are enthralling and the character arcs are always entertaining and consuming, however this really comes from the stellar performances from Fassbender as Magneto and MaCavoy as Professor Xavier. The script is brilliantly written and the re-working of history works surprisingly well in correspondence with the narrative, the only slight downer for me was the lack of a really epic and ferocious villain, with Kevin Bacon, as Sebastian Shaw, being more than passable but in a performance that will never be classic.

3.) Batman Begins: It takes guts to rebrand such a huge franchise as Batman, and Christopher Nolan made this more than apparent with his bold and fierce remodeling of the much-loved comics. Nolan’s success, I personally believe, lies greatly in the grounded nature of the film compared to those previous to it; this Batman was realistic and could be sympathised with, had emotional sincerity and took place in a world  which looks like a complete possibility rather than the comic-book settings of Batman and Robin. Gotham City is ridden with crime, but these are not criminals who have falling in vats of acid, but villains who are monstrously evil without being completely superheroesque. Dr Crane (the Scarecrow, played superbly by Cillian Murphy), a deranged and immoral psychologist who uses toxins to turn people insane, a mob boss, Falcone (Tom Wilkinson), and Ra’s Al Ghul (Liam Neeson), a hidden crime fighter, but still just as realistic as Batman. Bale’s Batman is also brilliant, as are the performances  of the amazing supporting cast who aid Bruce Wayne, Caine, Oldman and Freeman; the overall cast is great, however if I was nitpicking, Katie Holmes was the weak link, but that doesn’t stop this being brilliant.

2.) Avengers Assemble: This isn’t exactly a cool, dark movie as with Batman Begins, but this is the big, summer blockbuster which all future blockbusters will aim to reproduce. Its brilliance doesn’t lie in multiple sterling performances or the massive, exhilarating spectacle derived from the premise of combining multiple superheroes for one epic movie. It instead lies in, as many before me will have already stated, the great writing of Joss Whedon, and it is the comic turns in this film which cause it top all of its predecessors, keeping it vivid and imaginative, lively and entertaining throughout the film, leaving you always wanting more. Personally I favour Batman Begins as a film, but for pure entertainment, this can hardly be beaten.

1.) The Dark Knight: It was almost as though Nolan used the first film to set this film up knowing it would be immense, and superior to the original; he used the first film to do everything expected of a Batman film, he filled the key roles and introduced the key characters, gave Batman a difficult but not unbeatable foe, and not exactly one of the classic enemies and most importantly did Batman’s origin story, including the ever-cliched image of pearls hitting the floor. With all that out of the way he could wreak havoc, pull as many punches as he wished, using the classic villain, the Joker, and again making him less cartoon and more real and hence more frightening, creating him to be a deranged, violent terrorist. Heath Ledger is undeniably brilliant, and the rest of the cast support what is more the Joker’s film than Batman’s, but it does not rely on the joker alone and this film is far more edgy, has a far more daring script and plot, and how its was a 12A I have no idea. The score worked brilliantly and the overall tone intensified constantly until the colour in your face changed. Undoubtedly, in my eyes, the best superhero movie.